In a world that glorifies the grind and celebrates the hustle, many of us are conditioned to believe that our worth is directly tied to how much we work and how much we do. But what happens when we shift away from this mindset? A client of mine recently had a powerful realisation during our sessions:
"I was bringing my abundance to all the wrong places and living this illusion that I was making the most out of life. My kids don’t love me more for working more. People don’t care for me more because I work my ass off. My headstone will not show how many hours I worked. I want to be remembered for how many people loved me and how I loved them. It is only when I slowed down that I could see all this. My worth is in who I AM"
This statement is a beautiful example of how someone’s mindset can shift from valuing productivity for its own sake to realising the importance of connection, love and presence. So how can we challenge our own thinking around this...some thoughts and reflective questions below.
1. Abundance Isn’t About Achievements - It’s About Alignment
When we tie our sense of abundance to external achievements—promotions, accolades or how many hours we work—we risk losing sight of what truly matters. The abundance of life is in the relationships we nurture, the joy we find in small moments and the time we take to simply be. It's only when we slow down, (as my clients here me say all the time), that we can speed up in the right ways, that we can begin to notice where our abundance is being misdirected.
Reflection Questions: Where are you bringing your abundance, and is it truly serving you?What would it look like if you redirected your energy toward what truly fills you?
2. Your Children or Loved Ones Don’t Love You for Working More
We often justify long hours and overwork by convincing ourselves that we’re doing it for the people we love. But as my client reflected, “My kids don’t love me more for working more.” The people who care about us don't measure our value by our productivity—they care about the time and presence we offer.
In today’s fast-paced society, it’s easy to assume that working harder will somehow earn us more love or respect. The truth is, love is not something that can be earned through longer hours, nor is it proportional to how much we "do" for others. It’s cultivated through connection, attention and shared experiences.
Reflection Questions: Are you working hard for the approval of others or because of a sense of duty/responsibility? What might a loved one really value from you?
3. You Won’t Be Remembered for the Hours You Worked
One of the most striking insights from my client's reflection is: "My headstone will not show how many hours I worked. I want to be remembered for how many people loved me and how I loved them."
In the end, we are not remembered for our hustle. We are remembered for the impact we had on others, the love we gave and the connections we built. What if, instead of measuring success by how many hours we worked, we measured it by the quality of our relationships?
Reflection Questions: When you think about your legacy, how do you want to be remembered? What stories do you want people to tell about you? Likely, it won’t be about the extra hours you logged at work.
4. Slowing Down Allows for Clarity
“It is only when I slowed down that I could see all this,” my client shared.
The constant pressure to keep up, to do more, next, next, next, often clouds our ability to see what truly matters. Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up ambition or letting go of goals. It means creating space to reflect, to gain perspective and to focus on what really matters, whether that’s family, friendships, personal growth, or simply enjoying life.
Reflection Question: How can you slow down and refocus on what truly matters? When you allow space to reflect, what new perspective shows up?
So remind yourself, in this grand old scheme of things called life, your worth is not defined by your work, how much you work or how you perform... it is in who you are.
If you find yourself defining your self-worth by how productive you are, it might be time to step back and reconsider. Just like my client discovered, life is much richer when we stop placing our value in the number of hours we work and start valuing the love, presence and connection we bring into the world.
And if at any point you feel you could benefit from a little support around this, reach out.
Love Claire
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